It’s sad that this question even need be asked, but my friend did a damn good job answering it…
Some women are cruel with their rejections because they’ve tried letting guys down easy, but over and over, and it didn’t work. Some guys will take even the slightest hint of kindness as an excuse to ignore a rejection. Your fellow men have trained them to understand that anything less than smacking you in the head with a clue-by-four won’t work
But it’s worse than that
In job interviews, I find that that the great candidates you want to hire are only on the market a very short time, but the terrible candidates are pretty much always on the market, because even when some desperate company hires them, they are back out interviewing before too long.
When you approach a stranger to ask her out, you are joining a pool of applicants that is overwhelmingly filled with men no sane woman should want. Many of them aren’t emotionally ready to date and would screw up an acceptance if they got it.
But it’s worse than that.
Saying “yes” is a big investment, and a woman is likely to get dozens of offers for each “yes” she has the energy for. That means even if you do everything right and happen to be her type, she will need to say “no” much more often than not.
But it’s worse than that.
Pretty much every man that asks the question wants to hear a “yes” and is going to be disappointed by that perfectly normal “no” no matter how polite. For some men, and by “some” I mean a lot more than will admit it, any version of the word “no” is going to hurt. When they get the perfectly polite, perfectly clear, perfectly gentle “no” it still hurts, and the emotional logic of the brain figures “She rejected me. It hurt. Therefore she hurt me.
”So maybe that “no” wasn’t really cruel.
But it’s worse than that.For some guys, not as many but still way the hell too many, that “she hurt me” thought comes with a desire to retaliate. The mini-dialog (“You wanna go out?” / “No.” / “Bitch!”) seems too stupid to really happen, but if you ever been in the sort of place where women get asked out (meaning anywhere with men), you’ve heard some variation of it.
But it’s worse than that.
For some guys, actually not all that many now, that petty need to strike back goes somewhere darker. Somewhere dangerous. Maybe it gets vented as some really ugly whining on the internet about “involuntary celibacy” — or maybe it turns violent. These repulsive losers may not be the most common, but they can do so much damage it doesn’t take many of them.
But it’s worse than that.
If you are asking this question, you have at least a couple of things in common with the darkest, most evil men above. And it isn’t easy for a woman you just met to tell the difference.
One strategy she might use is to make her rejection so harsh that there would be no good reason from him to return. That way if he does, she knows right away it is for a bad reason and can take steps to protect herself. It’s not a strategy I would advise, but it’s one I understand.
But it’s worse than that.
The guys who really need to read an answer like this aren’t going to, or worse yet are going to try to shoot it down with some “Not *all* men” distraction no matter how many times I said “some” above. So no matter how nice a guy you are, no matter how unfailingly politely you act, you are going to have to live in a world alongside douchebags and rapists where some of their shit will get on you.
But it’s worse than that.
So does she.
Holy hell I’ve never seen a justification for being needlessly cruel in rejecting someone but here we are.
It’s… really REALLY not that deep. Sometimes just like men women can be jerks. I mean are you forgetting that Nice Girls and Nice Lesbians are a thing just like Nice Guys? And that douchebags and rapists can be female as well? That gay men also have to face rapists and douchebags?
You really think that women can’t be entitled or creepy and only men can, so you can assume every man is entitled and treat them like shit even if they aren’t?
Get out with that noise, stop using victim hood as an excuse to be a jerk.
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