Listen…
When I was 10 I thought I was transgender. I even thought I was experiencing dysphoria- I cried over wearing dresses, I hated my feminine body (cried over that too) and loved being called by male pronouns. It seemed like crystal clear dysphoria. My pain got persistantly worse…until four years later- I started becoming okay with my birth gender again. My “dysphoria” perished, I started growing out my hair, threw out my male wardrobe, bought female clothes again and most importantly- I started showering with the lights on again, I stopped wearing binders, started smiling again.
I created the “dysphoria” in my head. I had always been a strange child and always felt different, and I had discovered an identity that would explain that. I was trying to fit that mold by creating pain I didn’t have. I didn’t know who I was and wanted to find my community.
Here are some things I did while questioning that could be signs that you are not transgender. (note that I’m not a professional, and even if all of the things listed apply to you, you could still be trans- this is just my personal advice)
• you weren’t uncomfortable with your gender at all until you started learning about the trans community
• you constantly seek reassurance from sites like reddit or tumblr to validate you
• when you write to these sites and askboxes you find yourself exaggerating your situation
• you can’t relate to the childhood stories of most trans people
• you didn’t start feeling like something was wrong until you were a tween/teen
• you are self diagnosed
• you have parents who encouraged or pushed you to do stereotypical “boy” things (if you are afab) or “girl” things (if you are amab) when you were a child
• you have ocd/pure – o
• you cannot picture yourself as the opposite sex
• picturing yourself as the opposite sex makes you uncomfortable
• imagining aging as the opposite sex disturbs you
• being adressed by male pronouns (if you’re afab) or female pronouns (if you’re amab) feels wrong
Today I love being female and I love being feminine. I know that going on hormones would have been a mistake and I know it would have ruined my life.
So… Please, young people claiming the identity transgender- don’t rush in. Wait until you are grown. Until you are an adult. You might be 110% sure- but so was I. And I still realized I was wrong.
Don’t get me wrong- it’s very much possible that you are transgender and what you’re feeling is dysphoria, but the only way to know is to get yourself properly diagnosed by a professional.
Do not lie to that professional to get a diagnosis- do not exaggerate.
And if you are not dysphoric, I have to be honest with you:
You are not transgender.
You will ruin your life if you transition.
You will regret it.
Please- do not do anything rash just because you want to belong to the trans community or because you think being trans is cool.
You do not transition to be a “soft boy uwu”, it is not a political statement or an aesthetic. It is NOT cosmetic. It is something you do because your body makes you physically sick. It is something you do because you need to and because you can’t live without it.
I’m not telling you this to upset you, confuse you, I’m not saying this because I’m conservative or transphobic- I just don’t want you to make the same mistake I almost made.
Also to add, hating your body ie.thinking youre fat, thinking youre ugly, and would look better/have more friends as the opposite sex is not dysphoria! It’s a thing every kid thinks at one point in their lives!
I had puberty related anxiety when I was 10-14 and a lot of the symptoms of that line up with dysphoria. The sight of bras and pads made me emotionally distressed and I used to wear clothing that was way too big for me because I didn’t like seeing my “mature” body in the mirror. I used to dread going to school and I didn’t want people even LOOKING at me because I hated my body that much.
However, I was asked by my older cousin this question “then do you want a sex change operation to turn into a boy?” My answer was a quick and vehement no.
I didn’t want to be a boy. I was just scared of puberty. If all this pushing kids to be trans mentality existed in the 2000s it would have just confused me further.
Trans kids exist but we should also keep in mind that just because someone is GNC or hates their body it doesn’t mean they’re trans.
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