As much as I hate leaning on the ‘but muh autisms’ button, the Internet Justice status quo of “You must follow, to the letter, a bunch of social rules that are never codified, periodically changed with no indication and contradictory. Any deviation from these (completely hidden) rules – along with any requests to explain or other questioning – will get you at best dismissed and mocked as ignorant and at worst harassed perpetually with intent to make you commit suicide” is shockingly ableist and strongly echoes the kinds of bullying autistic kids face in school and other social situations.
And like many examples of Guess Culture (where the rules are unspoken and have to be inferred), it’s terrible for neurotypicals too.
I don’t think this is unintentional, because the people doing it tend to hammer on the issue extra hard when they can.
It’s convenient for cults if they can change the rules whenever they please.