johnnyjoestarrelatable:

me @ my cat: baby enjoy toy. mommy buy for you. enjoy entertainment baby

cat: fuck you. give me more crumpled starbucks receipts

Me @ my dog: Here, I got you all these bones and dolls for you to play with, please play with them.

My dog, eyeing my prized stuffed dog doll that looks like a Direwolf that I keep on a high shelf so that she doesn’t destroy it: You’re seriously giving me this cheap shit? Forget that! Give me THAT ONE.